poems

 

A LovePoem

Love is a difficult concept to hold

When a question of purity threatens to mold

With varying moments of levels of doubt

What’s this deceptive perfection about?

It’s almost as trying to sum up a word

And scratch it on paper to never be heard

Or seen in the eyes of your clandestine love

Or known in his heart, of the words you write of

See, love has a current so rarely controlled

So strain to evade its resilient hold

So build your resistance, a durable shield

And try to defy the force fondness will yield

Suddenly, though, one’s love broke through my dam

And morphed me to love being all that I am

I’d walk ‘cross the water that broke through my shield

If it means my affection’s no longer concealed

One day I will bury you in my embrace

I’ll feel your soft fingertips grazing my face

If just for a moment, three feet off the ground

I’ll melt to your voice’s sweet, serenely sound

A feeling has conquered the best of my cause

My on-flowing reason now halts in a pause

My future is paved by this humbling man

And I’ll lead to love him, as best as I can

Vs. Midnight

I told myself repeatedly I wouldn’t fear the sun

That as it’s crawling through the shades, I’d pause before I run

And stand directly ‘fore the rays of day’s appalling light

And smile through the misery that’s severing my sight

Through the dark, exquisite night, before the twilight falls

I’d gather all my strength, and then I’d build defensive walls

I’d shape a brace around my spine to aid my bended back

And breathe in luminescent light, supplying strength I lack

The whispers thickening the black will hug my weightless hand

Convincing absent rays of love they’ll shame the place they stand

And words of notice serenade in night’s undying preach

That one mere glance of notice is how for I’ll ever reach

Suppress the ache for something waiting farther than these walls

And realize it’s bound to be when prospect never calls

But notwithstanding tendency of midnight’s brutal truth

The weight will make me recognize the innocence of youth

That though I bathe in darkness of the ancient, handsome night

Vibrant to my base, I am a child born of light

And though the mask of sundown holds the will to make me strong

The brilliance of morning is the home, which I belong

So as I stand with courage ‘tween these still and silent walls

And slowly, slowly, slowly, as the threat of morning falls

The walls that once were dimming are now touched by warmth of sun

I lift my arms above my head and, darkness, I have won

Cloud Nine

Just for a moment, I’m once again found

My feet momentarily touching the ground

Been more than forever since shoved from cloud nine

Fallen from heaven, a home I called mine

If just for a moment, before you reply,

I’d like to confess my heart’s still in the sky

There it remains, on the stand side our bed

Along with the promise of bliss in my head

I guess I was blind from the haze of our love

Or faint from no oxygen miles above

I guess the light shining around us was fake

Bound by the halo you took time to make

Guess I’m momentarily trapped by your spell

Forging a heaven that’s clearly a hell

In settings somehow just a breath from sun’s shine

Fooling my eyes on exquisite cloud nine

Through years since I’ve fallen, I’ve morphed to a soul

That’s practically soulless, a vapid black hole

Is now momentarily filled in my chest

But solitude’s pain is, in truth, for the best

‘Cause, moments ago, when I saw my reflection

I realized that I now decide my direction

I don’t need your lies to protect my frail youth

From this moment on, I’m defined by the truth

Your ice walls are crumbling, melting at last

But now I have vanished, the moment has passed

And you’ll walk this earth with a tear in your eye

And each moment wonder and glance at the sky

Jealousy

She’s looked upon with jealousy by those who pass her by

An angel drenched in innocence, compassion in her eye

But, that’s not just compassion causing her brown eyes to glint

She’d paralyze them into shock if they all caught a hint

When other eyes are shielded, silence simply sitting still

A shattered cry is broken lose, pain strong enough to kill

Waterfalls of tears fall free, leaking from her heart

Pathetic, worthless, stupid, strange, each word tears her apart

The liquid running through her veins has lost a sense of truth

Her eyes are dull, expressionless, neglecting her sweet youth

She’ll always be pathetic, she’ll always be alone

And what they see’s not what she felt, instead its what she’s shown

A flower bloomed, so beautiful, is none but one lone weed

A nun that’s praying to a God in whom she’ll never creed

A wolf that yearns to stray alone, but leader of the pack

When eyes are once more glued to her, a smile’s plastered back

She’s dealt for years and time again that life just isn’t fair

She comes back home into a place where Mom just doesn’t care

She’s waiting for the day when she can watch you from above

But it’s okay, ‘cause she is just the girl you’re jealous of

Life

I yearn for the pain just to know I can feel

And misery’s blessing confirming I’m real

To know that the teardrops that run through my soul

Aren’t the scars from your torturous toll

I live for the screams that I scream as I fall

‘Cause living for pain isn’t living at all

In agony’s shadow, I dwell where it’s cast

Called by the future but locked to the past

Come in on a secret but swear you won’t tell

My eyes display nothing I fell from this hell

I’m burning, I’m yearning relief from the pain

To shower you’re love but not drown in your rain

‘Cause every damn time someone calls our your name

I fall back again; I’m in love all the same


Fields of Awake

Imagination beyond oceans and seas

Wondrous worlds past the river of reality

Beyond the fields of awake

And the rainfalls of heart break

Into the world you don’t need to think

And you shouldn’t despair

For you will see it through, for this wondrous worlds will help you

The wondrous worlds

Life is but a dream of uncertainty

The small bird yearning to take wing

The small bird failing to soar

Too afraid for the swirling hard death at the bottom?

This small bird doesn’t worry about success

Wondrous worlds past the river of reality

Life is but a dream of the unlived life

You can, but you mustn’t

 Are you afraid to take the first step to paradise?

Afraid you might not make it?

You mustn’t be afraid

You cannot despair, you cannot fail, you cannot die

Beyond the fields of awake

Life is but a dream of that rose

Symboling love, the shrilling beautiful sound of that word

You fancy love as that beautiful girl

You are that beautiful girl, so beautiful

The love to your Prince Charming adding more beauty

More sunlight to your smile

Shining down on your Prince Charming

Till Prince Charming plants love into Cinderella

There is no crying till three in the morning

And there is no grasping onto your pillow, trying to relieve the pain

There are no tears of regret

Beyond the rainfalls of heartbreak

Life is not but a dream

But what you dream

May just one day become reality

What is Peace?

What is peace, dear diary?

This is my desire, see,

I wonder just what could have been

Previous to this position we’re in

When men did not lift up swords against nations

When skin was not slashed due to different foundations

When eyes didn’t shriek out to wide, open space

Hating a brother because of his race

Who are we, journal, to fight on this earth?

To assume a religion proves what a man’s worth

A blind man sees nothing, and others see all

Does this mean the others will make this man fall?

Because, in a fight, since the differing views

Taking one’s life is what anger can choose

When put on this planet, when brought to this place

We had the same “nothing” throughout every race

No clothes on our backs, or no hate in our eyes

Innocence dies, watching loathing arise

Only a child who hasn’t seen war

Could show to the world what true life is for

To laugh and to talk, and to learn and to play

To ignore what’s tomorrow and live for today

But, journal, at what point of life’s windy course

Did we all forget we come from the same source?

Each of us dwells under unending skies

And are blessed to see sunsets before our awed eyes

We all must drink water, we all must eat food

No matter what race or religion is viewed

The young who are living in young purity

Know not of the hate coming with maturity

The young will embrace the love in one other

 Despite different looks, beliefs, or another

The children would love each from various kin

Blind to the differing colors of skins

Somewhere along the path we call life

Do we learn arts of racism, hatred, and strife

I dreamed of a life, once, where happiness meant

The Jews and the Muslims united, content

Where the meaning of “racist” would be just a fable

And disgust towards a skin color thrown off the table

A world where delight is an equal belief

Hands held between nations would cause me relief

But then I awoke, and I cried and I cursed

It’s a hope at the best and a myth at the worst

And yet then, throughout the heart-breaking tears

The wish for peace I’ve held onto for years

It may have a chance, one day, will revive

The heart of the hope, it will beat now, alive

One day, we’ll all sing, we’ll all rejoice

By one child’s love, by one child’s voice

The fate and the future now lie in their hands

The time for tomorrow is soon when one stands

And thinks a thought from innocent love

That is just out of reach on the back of a dove

That dove of peace, with its holy wings

Holds truth, in peace, it righteously sings

And soon someday, we will all sing too

Then I’ll be holding hands with you

Dear Diary

Eating Music

I inhale the sweet aroma of music

As my fingers fly across the black and white keys

Of my best friend

Of my life

Of my Piano

My blissful major chord fills the air

Like spilled, sweet milk emitting from my fingers

Defying the laws of gravity

and Drifting in free air

Free, free

The eery minor fall

Drifts down my throat

As i taste the bittersweet, magical notes

That lifts my lovely heart

Each time my fingertips skim the cool keys

A stray G minor drips

From the sides of my lips And

I like it up hungrily

As my song nears its end

I play my last chord with shivers down my back

And as I sit in the ringing silence

Sweet from the aftershock of music

Tears fill my eyes

As i wait in anticipation

For the next time

I experience

The heart-stopping taste

Of my Music

Picture I Burned

Memories spark of a picture I burned

Relished of ash for the truth that I’ve learned

But what is truth? Can’t tell by those eyes

It’s hidden behind masks of effortless lies

For, emerging this thought set aflame by pure rage

Unlocks a preach taught inside life’s metal cage

Words are so fragile, so easily said

Yet sharp as a knife, leaving scars in your head

Your heart and your spirit take little to fool

Broken and tattered in one day at school

Words mask the hatred that runs through their minds

That’s hiding the pain only honesty finds

But honesty’s something that few can obtain

A soul that stood tall thought the winds and the rain

Experience teaches that hate’s to despise

Though hate is required through honesty’s eyes

It’s not hard to do if it happened to you

And you taught me that love’s a miracle, too

A miracle flipped in a blink of an eye

For life WILL hurt you, despite how hard you try

Thanks for the lessons you took time to teach

Tempting your love ‘fore my innocent reach

But your love was like candy sweet, absolute, sure

Till it’s forced down my throat isn’t sweet anymore

Let’s count all the promises, baby, you broke

Turning my love for you into a joke

Well thank you for stealing my innocent heart

Thousands of tears shed for you from the start

And now I watch the picture burn

Expressionless, numb, from the truth that I learn

The memory faded from present to not

To wait to remind me the lessons you taught

The Girl In The Mirror

It’s funny

Eery quiet sliced the paralyzing silence
The blinding lights
Searing like fire
Covered my eyes like a blanket of sun
A light so vigorously bright
That’s it’s dark
As dark as
You
It’s funny
My memories reflect stories of hell
Like standing on a pedestal
In a sea of children
An ocean of words
Of pointing fingers
Of names
As tears run down my stained cheeks
Stained from the scars
Of the lies you told
Adding to the scars
Of the memories
Burned
Like a picture in a fire
Forgotten
Yet always there
In the back of my mind
Reminding me
Of the yesterday i desperately tried to turn from
It’s funny
The childish fears
Burned away along with yesterday’s lies
Followed me to the edge of the cliff
Where I stand
And peer to the horizon
What will tomorrow bring?
What good can I do in this world?
Where do I belong?
It’s funny
The sad brown eyes I stare at in the mirror
Mimicking my movements
Crying like me
Screaming like me
Bleeding like me
Is, in fact not me
Just a replica of the girl I am
Of the woman I once was
For the shattering scream emitting from my lips
Leaking from the cracks of my broken heart
Shatters the me in the glass
Maybe the glass is me
Shattered, shattered
Broken, torn and tattered
Maybe I am the girl in the mirror
and the girl in the mirror is me
For I am not there
And neither is she
it’s funny

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